What are the keys to building connection?

Life Lessons:

“Those people.”

Do you desire to be “one of those” people. The ones who are magnets, drawing you in.

What is it about them?

What is it about them? They seem to have the spark. Full of life, light, joy, laughter.

Even during times of adversity.

“In prosperity our friends know us, in adversity we know our friends.” (LL) Churton Collins

Happiness and Influence

Are you one of these individuals? Do people hang on to your every word. Do they want to know your secret to happiness. Are you able to influence, either directly, or indirectly?

Are you happy with your life?


Recently a conversation occurred. This individual intuitively knew they were missing something. After talking they knew what they wanted to do. It is never too late, 65, and taking action. On reflection they desired an epitaph that would mention contribution…in the world.

Magic Formula – Share It

If you’ve found the magic formula, way to go! Share it. Let us know what it is you do that helps Others.

Keys to Connection

What are the keys to building connection:

  • Empathy
  • Listening
  • Gratitude
  • Action
  • Kindness
  • Sincerity

Believe. Be authentic. Do for Others. Think outside yourself. Be genuine. Caring. Empathetic. Be happy.

Show gratitude through words, and actions.

Simply by Doing

Simply by doing with no hidden agendas. Simple kindnesses have far reaching impact. Will stress, we may never know, and that shouldn’t matter.

As I was going over the draft of this article. By happenstance an old friend from many years ago contacted me through Facebook.

She made reference to a meal I had prepared for her, the delicious brussel sprouts with apricots. How that memory brought us both joy.

Then she had kind words for my brother-in-law Joby, so I mentioned this to him. This is the ripple effect of connection.

A quote from my favourite philosopher, “He that gives should not remember, he that receives should never forget.” (W) Ralph Waldo Emerson. Thank-you Gabriela.

It is about doing for Others without expectation.



Close your eyes. Take a deep breathe. Ahhhh, sigh. Think about a time you were able to give someone “joy.” Were you affected? Did you experience an Omg moment? Were there tears of joy. Do you recall how this experience made you feel?

This is connection.

Each and every one of us can and should be making an effort to bring Others joy.

You want to be “one of those” people. For some it is innately in their nature. Then we have our nature versus nurture. An entirely new article.

Practice Practice Practice

We can all practice. “Practice makes perfect.” (LL) author unknown

You need to apply yourself through practice. Perhaps some are naturally more empathetic. Yet all of us can learn and absorb from Others.


  • Listen to what Others are saying
  • Keep mental notes
  • Watch their facial expressions
  • Learn to pick up cues
  • Hear their intonations

They will always speak in their natural voice. Tyler, Oprah, Ellen. T.O.E. (change-makers).   Everyone can make a difference to someone.


When we listen to someone when they are in “their moment” sharing a story with a passionate heart. Listen.

Perhaps they are re-living a childhood memory, remembering a special place, person, or book. What if you found that special book and gave it to them as a gift. You would be blessed in re-living “that moment”. Experience all that joy, over again.

This is connection.

“Those people” receive these moments as they are on people’s radar. They are living their lives by building connections.

Practice random acts of kindness – always. You will discover the ripple effects.

A personal story:

Sometimes the little things we do have a bigger effect than you realize. “This is the beauty in not knowing. It doesn’t matter – just know it does matter.” (LL)  Chris Toda

My boss ( while I was working ) at the Vancouver Police Department, Manager, Lisa Hoogstins is caring, thoughtful, and empathetic. How fortunate I was.

For my birthday she gave me this beautiful bouquet of flowers, rather large for me to carry home on public transit!

I was on the SkyTrain with my flowers. I noticed an elderly woman. Her clothes were worn, she had a weathered face, a kind smile.

She said. “Your flowers are beautiful.” She had this look of longing in her eyes. Immediately she mentions to me that she was going to the hospital to see her friend who was dying.

At this moment. I am listening. It is my call to action.

I then responded with, “I would really appreciate if you would take these flowers. Having an allergy to pollen, it would truly help me out.”

She graciously accepted the bouquet and indicated her friend “loves flowers.” She nodded her head in appreciation. We parted ways.

The next day I was going to the hospital to visit a friend.

The Words

I walked by three nurses having a conversation. One of them was wiping away tears. I overheard the words: bouquet, SkyTrain, friend…

….you know….it is the ripple effect.

Life Lesson.


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6 thoughts on “What are the keys to building connection?

  1. Gabriela

    I’ve said this on many an occasion: Kindness is, or at least seems to be, very undervalued in our society. I don’t think that most people realize the power of a kind word or random act of kindness. One small action, however seemingly insignificant, can really mean the world to someone. One kind word can totally make your day and bring you up when you are at your lowest point. It really doesn’t take much. I know this from personal experience. I have been on the receiving end of a kind word from a person who did not realize the impact it would have on me, and I’ve also seen another persons eyes light u it really doesn’t take much. I know this from personal experience. I have been on the receiving end of a kind word from a person who did not realize the impact it would have on me. I have also seen someone’s face light up after I’ve given them a hug or a word of encouragement. It is amazing how something so simple can mean so much.

    1. todallychris Post author

      Hello Gabriela,
      Am in 100 percent agreement with the impact that kindnesses do have on people. Also, firm believer that we should “do” without expectation.
      Sometimes, we are fortunate to be on the receiving end of a kindness where it may have altered the direction of someone’s life. This is why we should do – always. We may forget what it is we did or said yet those on the receiving end never forget. When we are the fortunate recipients we should always remember.
      Thank-you for taking the time to post. I appreciate it.

    1. todallychris Post author

      Thanks! I will have to learn how to save “as favourites” myself. Every time I think I am getting technically better, I have a moment…

    1. todallychris Post author

      Is there something specifically that resonates? Always open to expanding on topics, and being that conduit to research.
      Thanks for your comments.

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